We can all agree that having drive is quite a sexy quality. The idea that someone is goal-oriented, has a good head on their shoulders, and is actively thinking ahead for the future are all strong signs that they’d make for the perfect partner. So when you’re out on a date, does that mean you should harp on that, badgering them with questions about their current career, former internships, or otherwise? Absolutely not.
What are those other talking points worth mentioning, you ask? Below, you’ll find a few things to bring up when out on a date aside from your state of employment. And if you manage to land yourself a follow-up after all’s said and done, you’ll know who to thank.
1. Today’s Political Climate
Politics aren’t exactly the most riveting thing to chat about, but sometimes, it’s good to know where your date’s interests lie. While you’re not trying to dampen the level of excitement, mentioning what’s going on in the world may give you insight as to whether or not your date keeps up with today’s news. If anything, it’ll let you figure out with which political party they align.
That being said, if your date strolls in ready to argue about court cases from before you were born, you might suddenly have the urge to note exactly where all of the exit signs are … that’s just too much politics for one night.
2. The Proper Amount of Time for a Nap
Chatting about naps sounds inherently silly, but in reality, you’ll be able to tell if your day-to-day approach matches up to your date’s. You may not necessarily click with someone who is on the go at all times, especially if you’re someone who likes to pass out on the couch in his underwear at the most inappropriate of times.
After all, as an adult, squeezing in time for a good midday snooze is never easy. Unless you’re someone whose office is blessed with a room designated for naps, it’s not exactly kosher to completely konk out while you’re on the clock.
Don’t be afraid to ask your date if they’re someone who operates like the Energizer bunny, eager to hit up happy hour once that last email is sent, or if they prefer to starfish in their bed the first chance they get. Sometimes, opposites do attract.
3. The Age at Which You Shouldn’t Expect to Receive Birthday Gifts
A discussion like this will help to shed light on a person’s maturity, especially if you’re looking for someone who is self-reliant and can take care of themselves. While the point at which a person feels truly independent in their life can vary, typically, it’s when they head off to college, out into their own apartment, or land their first big job. For most, these big events line up with the unfortunate moment that you stop receiving birthday cards from your grandparents with dollar bills.
Being able to support yourself, or at least pay your own cellphone bill, means you shouldn’t expect to get any type of gift to celebrate your day of birth. Sure, a card is great, and some may treat you for a nice meal or cocktail, but there comes a point in every person’s life where your birthday just isn’t that big a deal anymore. Now, if your date is currently counting down until their half-birthday hits … that’s a whole other topic.
4. What Dating Trend Will Follow Post-Apps
Use this as an opportunity to find out exactly how your date … dates. If you get a sense of what apps they use and what their game plan is when they’re going out, you may be able to pick up on their vibe without directly asking what they’re looking for in a relationship.
For starters, you probably are sitting across from your date because you matched on Tinder, Bumble, Chappy, or another easily downloadable app on your phone, a place that’s not exactly meant for heartfelt questions. Perusing through dating apps has become a second job, but unfortunately, it’s the main way to meet a potential romantic partner. Even then, the amount of time and effort you put in doesn’t always mean an equal return of love and affection because it’s just so fast-paced. With that said, what’ll follow suit to the swipe?
See what your date has to say about first date expectations nowadays. With any luck, you can pick up what they’re putting down, and you and your date won’t have to worry about the future of dating trends much longer.
5. What You Were Like As a Teen
The idea of talking about your childhood on a first date may seem odd, but in reality, it’ll give the other person an opportunity to get you know the real you. Hearing about your family, your background, and where you’ve come from says a lot about a person, especially to see how they’ve come to the point of their life now. Segue from the typical ask about your hometown, and instead, make it more about how your upbringing really helped you grow with each and every thing you learned.
Your ultimate goal is to ask things that help you stand apart from every other schlub out there. That is what’s most important in the long run.